Ok, so I know that officially Thanksgiving Day ended about an hour ago. But I just felt compelled to write this latest blog before I close my eyes for the night. I have had my heart re-awakened and my faith regenerated since my last post. And it is not because of some miracle cure, or some one-stop-shop solution. Each of the problems, heartache, and worries I had in my life two days ago are still there. And I have not had any real solutions to most of the imperative issues affecting me right now, however I have had a a few small miracles trickled in to my life over the last two days and I can finally see that someone IS there and working behind the scenes.

I was able to spend the day with my family and enjoy a fantastic meal with the treasure of genuine love and caring around each of us. That may not seem like a big deal to some, but for me and my family, it is a huge milestone. And when I think about those who are truly all alone with no one to support them, I realize that I am so blessed. I no that no matter where I end up, I will be loved. And loved by so many.

I have so many reasons to be thankful this year. Many of these things I know see I have taken for granted. I guess we all fall into that bad habit from time to time. Perhaps that is why so many people I know are facing some huge wake up calls as they say. Every one in my immediate circle and even those that are not, are dealing with major life changing issues. So it is hard not to wonder why there is so much pain and misery around me. But I take a deep breath, and know that the answer to my last post, Is There Anyone There?, has been answered.

I AM THANKFUL!

I am thankful for...
Jonathon, Samantha, Mikayla & Mia
My friends and family that love me so
tragedy being avoided and keeping my son in one piece
spending another holiday with mom
laughing and joking another day with dad
the gifts and talents that God has given me
the proof that a broken family CAN be healed
the old memories with dear friends and the chance to make new ones with them again
the love of music that I have and how it speaks to my very soul
the trials and setbacks that have made me the person I am
the trials and setbacks that will continue to develop me into the person God wants me to be
the renewed faith in my heart and trust in my soul that tells me I know God will take care of me...no matter what.

What are you thankful for this holiday season? I am sure if you really think about it, you can find at least one thing to keep you thankful. The next step is to find a way to turn that thankfulness into a blessing for someone else.

Until my next post, I will still be in waiting. As the blog says I am a...

LLadyNWaitn

Is anyone there?

I find myself asking this question lately, way to much. I can not even begin to describe the circumstances surrounding my life and how they continue to spiral out of control. Everything in my grasp is slipping away, and I can not understand why I am on this path.

So I find myself yelling out loud, " Hello? Is anyone there?" I am all alone and struggling for answers! Well, that is at least how I feel sometimes anyway. But I came across this poem a few weeks ago, wrote it down and then forgot about it. Partly because my mind is a mix of oatmeal and lumpy potatoes right now, but probably because it just did not make any sense to me at the time. For I was filled with doubt. And even that mustard seed of faith had left my being...until I read it again today.

I am posting this poem with the hope of it reaching someone else the way it has reached into my soul. I know that giving up and letting go could be very easy right now. Probably to easy for many to understand. And yet I know that as I sit here now, NONE my questions are answered. NONE my worries have gone away. NONE of the problems have been miraculously solved. And I I don't know where I will end up or how things will turn out over the next few weeks. I don't know if things will get any better or if they will get any worse. But I do know that I have to read, ...No not read...but BREATHE this poem into my every step, every action. 

I Am There

by James Dillet Freeman   

Do you need Me?

I am there.

You cannot see Me, yet I am the light you see by.

You cannot hear Me, yet I speak through your voice.

You cannot feel me, yet I am the power at work in your hands.

I am at work, though you do not understand My ways.

I am at work, though you do not understand My works.

I am not strange visions. I am not mysteries.

Only in absolute stillness, beyond self, can you know Me.

as I AM, and then but as a feeling and a faith.

Yet I am here. Yet I hear. Yet I answer.

When you need Me, I am there.

Even if you deny Me, I am there.

Even when you feel most alone, I am there.

Even in your fears, I am there.

Even in your pain, I am there.

I am there when you pray and when you do not pray. 

I am in you, and you are in Me. 

Only in your mind can you feel separate from Me, for 

only in your mind are the mists of "yours" and "mine".

Yet only with your mind can you know Me and experience Me. 

Empty your heart of empty fears. 

When you get yourself out of the way, I am there. 

You can of yourself do nothing, but I can do all.

And I AM in all.

Though you may not see the good, good is there, for

I am there. I am there because I have to be, because I AM. 

Only in Me does the world have meaning; only out of Me does the world take form; only

because of ME does the world go forward. 

I am the law on which the movement of stars 

and growth of living cells are founded. 

I am the love that is the law's fulfilling. I am assurance. 

I am peace. I am oneness. I am the law that you can live by. 

I am the love that you can cling to. I am your assurance. 

I am your peace. I am ONE with you. I am.

Though you fail to find Me, I do not fail you. 

Though your faith in Me is unsure, My faith in you never

wavers, because I know you, because I love you.

Beloved, I am there.

This poem received a lot of attention in 1971 when it was taken to the moon by astronaut James B. Irwin on Apollo 15. Irwin's mother gave it to him before the flight and he actually left a copy of the poem on the moon. The author, James Dillet Freeman, is poet laureate of the Unity School of Christianity at Unity Village. He wrote the poem in 1947.