I just watched the movie Fireproof for the 4th time. And it was like watching for the first time all over again. I cried and cried over the message that movie brings to light. It’s about so much more than saving a marriage. It’s about seeking the right things in your life in order to make the changes that you need to make to not only save your marriage, but save yourself from living a bitter, haphazard life filled with unappreciation and condemnation.
Being divorced myself, I can only wonder if I would have had the strength to complete something like this when it was obvious that my 12 year marriage was coming to an end. At that time in my life, with the beliefs I had and turmoil I held inside, I honestly do not think I could have done it. As Caleb says, “How can your repeatedly love someone who rejects you?”
I know that I do not have the answer to that question on my own. But I do know that finding Christ and beginning to change my way of living, thinking, and believing has definitely been t
he step I needed to begin to learn how to do that.
Anyone can say they want to save their marriage. But as you notice in the beginning of Caleb’s actions to perform the steps outlined in the Love Dare, you see that his heart was not in it. So therefore, the actions he thought should have been appreciated and welcomed by his spouse Catherine, go to an unforgiving heart. When we try with half-hearted actions to make things work in our life and do not put forth our whole heart and step out in a measure of faith with everything that is in us, it truly just becomes a wasted effort. It is not until Caleb realizes that no matter what happens to his marriage that he needs the love and grace of God to move on in his life in order to try and break the bad habits and cycle of destruction that has held him in bondage for so long. How can we understand the love God has for us? How can we understand that although we repeatedly reject Him and His grace, He will still love us and care for us?
So many people give up on their marriage so quickly. So many of us give up on the dreams and goals we have so easily because it’s just too hard. I relate to that, more than you know. None of us wants to face rejection, pain, or suffering. I am sure Jesus did not want to face what He knew was His ultimate fate.
But I have learned that giving up is not the answer. Commitment seems to be such a dirty word these days. So many of us are so afraid to commit to anything: marriage, careers, personal goals, and faith. Yet without that commitment, we will keep going in the same circles and letting blessings and opportunities continue to pass us by.
I have so many burdens on my heart, not only for myself, but for my family, friends, and most importantly my children. And in order to stay steadfast and keep the commitment I made when I accepted Christ as my savior, I have to believe that all of this is leading me to a life that I have never known before. Seeking God in everything I do, even the most mundane task, has been one key aspect for me to learning about what commitment truly means.
We can all say that “Well I tried and it just didn’t work.” It some how seems to satisfy us. Like its ok that we gave up. But what we need to ask ourselves, is not just did we try. But did we try with full commitment and full heart? I bet if you really contemplate that answer, whether it is your marriage or some personal goal, you would probably surprise yourself with the honest answer.
I know that none of things before me right now are easy. I am sure there are so many others that can agree with that statement as well. I also know the fact is that the easiest thing to do would be to give up and say, “I tried”. However, I am in this life for a reason. God has me here in this time and place for a reason. And all I can do is continue to praise Him and thank Him for “such a time as this” to continue to learn from all the opportunities around me.
I hope you all continue to learn from your opportunities and let your commitment to anything you do be nothing but whole hearted devotion. Our heart is the window to the soul, to what actually makes us run everyday. Broken hearts may not fully function, but it is learning to stay steadfast in the commitment that those hearts will heal.
God Bless!
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